god was already here

god was already here before groups came from baltimore
from seattle
from chicago
god was already here before I came
i do not need to be here
i am not an integral part of the work being done
the houses that are being built
are they miracles of god?
or white savior trim on blue, green, lurid walls?

i heard a preacher ask “what is god doing through us?”
as if we were the most important part of the story

i saw a post thanking an organization
for the opportunity to recognize the humanity in the people of tijuana
as if her validation had made them human

god was already working in tijuana before tony built this orphangage
god was already here before doxa began
god was already here before gringos came down to build the first house
god was already here before the spanish came and invaded this land
god was in the americas before columbus came
before the inculturation theology westernized and destroyed

someone asked me if i was lonely
how could i be lonely?
there are so many people here
more than you can ever see
more than i will ever see or know
if i chose to be with you and the other americans
it is because i want to
not because you are the only people i know

I always believed that there was something special about the city of Tijuana, and there is, but I idealized the city because I was here with my church, I was here with friends, with a support system. I see now how small my sight was. My idea of the city was just the two blocks around the orphanage. I knew nothing except what I had done, what I was doing.

god is already expanding my vision

god has already made me in the image of the divine
jesus has already died for my sins
the holy spirit has already breathed in me life

and I shouldn’t come down with the idea that I am doing something
god is already doing the work
of making heaven on earth
and I just get to see a little bit of it

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